406結尾曲"I Wish I Was the Moon"解析及翻譯

原文來自Television Without Pity的True Blood論譠I Wish I Was the Moon討論中， Elizabagoda所發表的文章，將這首歌歌詞運用在Bill、回復後Eric以及失憶Eric上，解析的相當不錯。

 

Chimney falls and lovers blaze

Thought that I was young

Now I’ve freezing hands and bloodless veins

As numb as I’ve become

I’m so tired, I wish I was the moon tonight

Last night I dreamt I’d forgotten my name

‘Cause I sold my soul

But I woke just the same

I’m so lonely, I wish I was the moon tonight

God bless me I’m a free man

With no place free to go

Paralyzed and collared tight

No pills for what I fear

This is crazy, I wish I was the moon tonight

Chimney falls and lovers blaze

Thought that I was young

Now I’ve freezing hands and bloodless veins

As numb as I’ve become

I’m so tired, I wish I was the moon tonight

How will you know if you’ve found me at last?

‘Cause I’ll be the one, be the one, be the one

With my heart in my lap

I’m so tired

I’m so tired

And I wish I was the moon tonight

I’m so tired

I’m so tired

And I wish I was the moon…

I’m so tired

I’m so tired

And I wish I was the moon tonight

That part about “I thought that I was young” in the first verse is purely about Bill. Remember when he told Portia that he could never love her, because love required a “young heart” and yet he loved Sookie: Sookie made him feel young, made him feel human. I think that foreshadowed that amnesiac Eric, who’s young in that he has no past, is capable of real love. And pre-amnesia Eric told Sookie she made him feel human, which I think underscores that Eric’s feelings for Sookie - not just lust, but maybe love - have been there since before the “newness” his amnesia gave him allowed him to be open enough to acknowledge it.

Then the second verse foreshadows post-amnesiac Eric: “Last night I dreamt I’d forgotten my name, ‘cause I sold my soul, but I woke just the same, I’m so lonely …” Eric will return to himself, but not exactly: there will be something missing. It also underscores the temporariness of his current situation - his time with Sookie, now, is just a dream. Being haunted by dreams is a theme on True Blood.

The third verse belongs to amnesiac Eric, who is a free man: free of his death sentence, sure, but more significantly free of his memories, his past, his guilt. Yet, as the song says, he has nowhere free to go: he’s shackled by his nature (he can’t swim in the sun, he can’t live a quiet, boring human life at Sookie’s side) and by his position (he has responsibilities, there are those who want and need him to return to himself, to the bondage of his baggage).

So when the song returns to the first verse, and “freezing hands, and bloodless veins” it refers to both Eric and Bill, who have now each had the experience of living - if only for a fleeting moment - in the sun of Sookie’s light.

Which brings us to the final verse: “How will you know if you’ve found me at last?” Which, in the context of our show, is Sookie recognizing who it is she’s looking for when she finds him. Remember Eric’s dream? “Eric: ‘what about Bill?’ Sookie: ‘turns out he’s not who I was lookin’ for’” He’ll be the one with his heart in his lap, the one who’s able to be vulnerable with her, to her, and still be who and what he is - freezing hands and bloodless veins and all.

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Chimney falls and lovers blaze  

煙囪塌落戀人愛火熊熊燃燒

Thought that I was young 

 我以為我還年輕

Now I’ve freezing hands and bloodless veins 

 而今我有著冰冷的雙手和蒼白無色的血脈

As numb as I’ve become  

麻木無感就像我如今變成的模樣

I’m so tired, I wish I was the moon tonight 

 我好累，我希望我是今晚的月亮。

Last night I dreamt I’d forgotten my name  

昨夜我夢見我忘了我的名

‘Cause I sold my soul 

 因為我出賣我的靈魂

But I woke just the same  

但我醒來依然如故

I’m so lonely, I wish I was the moon tonight  

我好孤獨，我希望我是今晚的月亮

God bless me I’m a free man 

 神佑我是自由人

With no place free to go 

 但我卻無處可去

Paralyzed and collared tight 

 四肢癱瘓枷鎖緊扼

No pills for what I fear 

 我的恐懼無藥可解

This is crazy, I wish I was the moon tonight 

 這真是瘋狂，我希望我是今晚的月亮

Chimney falls and lovers blaze 

煙囪塌落戀人愛火熊熊燃燒

Thought that I was young

 我以為我還年輕

Now I’ve freezing hands and bloodless veins 

而今我有著冰冷的雙手和蒼白無色的血脈

As numb as I’ve become 

麻木無感就像我如今變成的模樣

I’m so tired, I wish I was the moon tonight 

我好累，我希望我是今晚的月亮。

How will you know if you’ve found me at last? 

你怎麼知道你其實已經找到了我？

‘Cause I’ll be the one, be the one, be the one  

因為我將是那個，會是那個，成為那個

With my heart in my lap  

為你獻上我的心

I’m so tired  

我好累

I’m so tired  

我好累

And I wish I was the moon tonight  

我希望我是今晚的月亮

I’m so tired

 我好累

I’m so tired 

我好累

And I wish I was the moon…

我希望我是今晚的月亮

I’m so tired  

我好累

I’m so tired  

我好累

And I wish I was the moon tonight 

 我希望我是今晚的月亮

第一段「我以為我還年輕」純粹在講Bill，記得當他告訴Portia，他永不可能愛她，因為愛需要「年輕的心」，當他仍與Sookie相戀時：Sookie令他感覺年輕，令他感受人性。我認為那預示著失憶的Eric，年輕、沒有過去的包袱，能夠給予真正的愛。而失憶前的Eric告訴Sookie她使他感覺像個人類，我想這裡點出Eric對Sookied的感覺 – 不僅僅是欲望，而或許是愛情 – 早在從前，在他的失憶應允他、給予他一個全新的機會，開啟心扉承認愛情之前便已存在了。

接著第二段則預示回復後的Eric：「昨晚我夢見我忘記我的名，因為我出賣我的靈魂，但我清醒後依然如故，我好孤獨…」Eric將會回復原本的他，但不全然：他將會遺失某一部份，這同時也顯示他目前狀況是暫時性的 – 此時此刻，他與Sookie相伴的時間，只是個夢。縈繞在夢裡無法掙脫向來是True Blood最愛玩的主題。

第三部份屬於失憶Eric，一個自由人：當然可以意指從他的死刑逃脫，但是更重要的是不受他的記憶、他的過去、他的罪惡所束縛。然而，誠如歌裡所寫的，他無處可去：他受制於他的天性(無法在豔陽下游泳，不能留在Sookie身邊過著安靜平淡的人類生活)，還有他的地位(他有他的責任，有需要他的人，他必須回復他自己，回歸桎梏的束縛。)

因此，當歌重回到第一段，「冰冷的雙手，蒼白無色的血脈」這裡涵蓋Eric和Bill，這兩位如今有了「活著」的經歷 – 即便只是短短一瞬間 – 在名為Sookie的陽光籠罩下。

這裡將我們帶到最後一段：「你怎麼知道你其實已經找到了我？」這裡從劇中內容，是說當Sookie找到他時，她會發現誰才是她一直追尋的人，還記得Eric的夢嗎？Eric：「那Bill呢？」Sookie：「現在才發現原來他並不是我一直在尋找的人」他將會是那個獻上真心的人，那個能夠對她顯現出脆弱的一面，卻依然是原本純粹的他 – 冰冷的雙手和蒼白無色的血脈以及其他所有的一切。

↑當當~後面重點出來了，我也覺得這首歌同時隱喻Eric跟Bill，在感受Bill的孤寂之前，別忘了，從前的Sheriff也是孤獨一千年不懂真愛的啊。